Saturday, July 19, 2008

how great the pain of searing loss

well.

its been a crazy week for pretty much everyone i know. the theme of the week is loss...more precisely, death. death. theres a word thatll sober most people in a matter of seconds. its been said that all a person MUST do is die and pay taxes. thats cool, but april was three months ago. i guess its about time to get to the dying part.

this was not intended to be my next post, but even the best laid plans, right?

according to some philosophers, death shouldnt trouble a person because no one is aware that he is dead. i guess thats true. but it isnt the dead we really have a problem with, is it? its the memory of the dead. and haunting through the psyche isnt restricted to humans, is it? there are various things which die. people, relationships, careers, dreams. and what is it that makes the loss of these things so excruciating? pure and simple its the penchant for man to live in the past. the future is uncertain, so thinking of that is not a real option. the present is only slightly more certain than the future. what we are left with is the past, the temporal siren. we know it is expired. yet,we willingly run with abandon into her welcoming, familiar, deceitful arms. she promises leave from pain. she entices with the prospect of reunion. she can only offer. she can never give.

some of the people for whom i care greatly have, recently, heard the siren call of the past stronger than ever.

this week, death has been particularly cold and called up coaches, jobs, surrogate relatives, mentorships, hopes of futures...and those are only the deaths i was told about.

i wish i had the words to say to bring my friends immediately back to the ship so we can venture on toward home. all i can say is that i love you. dont stay too rapt in the siren--she will only, she can only, bring you to your demise. though its painful, come with us away from the war. come with us toward the present, toward the future, toward ithaca.